I stood outside and waited until they will find out with each other. I don't know how I felt. I was still shocked and couldn't believe that everything what I heard is a truth. I so wanted that all this what's going now would be just a very bad dream...
"Fifteen minutes have already passed, mister Garcia!" suddenly I heard Avani's voice. "Bye!" She waved me with a sarcastic smile on her face and went away.
I so didn't want to go inside and see Joshua, but I had to do that.
"Fifteen minutes have already passed, mister Garcia!" suddenly I heard Avani's voice. "Bye!" She waved me with a sarcastic smile on her face and went away.
I so didn't want to go inside and see Joshua, but I had to do that.
"So... How will you explain all this to me, Joshua?" I asked trying to speak calm.
"I have nothing to explain to you, because you've already heard everything!" Joshua yelled.
"Yes, but I want to hear your truth," I said still in calm voice.
"I told you before I don't like to commit to anyone! So I said her we should use protection, but she cheated and used me as some babies vending machine! We fell out and I left her!"
"Yes, but I want to hear your truth," I said still in calm voice.
"I told you before I don't like to commit to anyone! So I said her we should use protection, but she cheated and used me as some babies vending machine! We fell out and I left her!"
"And you left your pregnant girlfriend taking all her money?!" I narrowed my eyebrows still not wanting to believe in all this.
"I didn't rob Avani! She gave me money as I needed it, got it?!"
"What for? For your fun in casino?"
"I wanted to be rich! You even don't know what means to be born in poor family and to watch your drunk father beating your mother, you even don't know what means to feel hunger as you are rich and live like a kidney in fat! Am I right, Lucien?!" He motioned with his hands keeping a nervous smile on his face.
I sighed and looked down. Yeah, I didn't know what means to be poor. We even didn't have such things like poverty in our planet... All Sixam inhabitants are wealthy to have a full-fledged comfortable life. But Earth is not Sixam, here all is different. Although Joshua's words hurt me, but I felt guilty. It was first time when I realized that I totally don't know my boyfriend.
"Joshua..." I wanted to say him something, but he didn't let me to do that.
"What for? For your fun in casino?"
"I wanted to be rich! You even don't know what means to be born in poor family and to watch your drunk father beating your mother, you even don't know what means to feel hunger as you are rich and live like a kidney in fat! Am I right, Lucien?!" He motioned with his hands keeping a nervous smile on his face.
I sighed and looked down. Yeah, I didn't know what means to be poor. We even didn't have such things like poverty in our planet... All Sixam inhabitants are wealthy to have a full-fledged comfortable life. But Earth is not Sixam, here all is different. Although Joshua's words hurt me, but I felt guilty. It was first time when I realized that I totally don't know my boyfriend.
"Joshua..." I wanted to say him something, but he didn't let me to do that.
"What? Will you try to lecture me now?! I'm too big for that, so don't waste your time!" Joshua yelled motioning with his hands.
I've never seen him such mad and lost self-control. He was totally different person than I knew.
"That's all?" I asked him feeling how a wave of anger floods me when he stopped to yell.
I've never seen him such mad and lost self-control. He was totally different person than I knew.
"That's all?" I asked him feeling how a wave of anger floods me when he stopped to yell.
Joshua turned away and gave a deep sigh.
"Sorry, baby..." Joshua mumbled.
I shook my head.
"Don't call me Baby..." I said with almost dead voice.
He didn't say me anything. Maybe because he didn't have what to say anymore. I and Joshua just stood in silence against each other and I felt that the wall I felt before had grown between us even more. And not only this. I felt how the ground starts to slip under my feet.
"Sorry, baby..." Joshua mumbled.
I shook my head.
"Don't call me Baby..." I said with almost dead voice.
He didn't say me anything. Maybe because he didn't have what to say anymore. I and Joshua just stood in silence against each other and I felt that the wall I felt before had grown between us even more. And not only this. I felt how the ground starts to slip under my feet.
Suddenly I felt very tired and the huge wave of sadness fell on me. I turned away wanting to go and just hide somewhere.
"Lucien... Wait!" Joshua grabbed me by my hand.
"Leave me alone, Joshua..." I said silently feeling how the tears run over my cheeks. "Just leave me alone..."
"Lucien... Wait!" Joshua grabbed me by my hand.
"Leave me alone, Joshua..." I said silently feeling how the tears run over my cheeks. "Just leave me alone..."
I even don't know how I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up was already afternoon. I lay and thought about all this nonsense what ruined my happiness. I still couldn't accept it, except the sadness and pain what I felt.
"Lucien..." I heard Joshua's voice. "Are you still sleeping?"
"No..." I answered slowly sitting on the couch. "We have to talk, Josh... Take a seat."
"Yes, I know..." Joshua nodded and sat on the couch. "I messed up..."
"Yes... You did..." I nodded.
"And I really sorry for yelling at you... I... I... I didn't have to tell you such things..."
"Never mind..." I said looking at my knees.
"Lucien..." I heard Joshua's voice. "Are you still sleeping?"
"No..." I answered slowly sitting on the couch. "We have to talk, Josh... Take a seat."
"Yes, I know..." Joshua nodded and sat on the couch. "I messed up..."
"Yes... You did..." I nodded.
"And I really sorry for yelling at you... I... I... I didn't have to tell you such things..."
"Never mind..." I said looking at my knees.
"I had to tell you earlier... I wanted that, but..." Joshua said. "Sorry, baby..."
"You had, but you didn't..."
"Yeah... But may I make it up, babe? May I prove you that I can be different?"
"Josh..."
"I can explain you all! Please!"
"You already explained me, Josh..."
'I said bullshit, Lucien! Let me to do that one more time! Please, baby!"
"Stop it, Josh!" I raised my voice. "You will be father soon, so what are you talking about?!"
"Oh no! I don't love this woman! I love you, Lucien!"
"I said you stop it, Josh!"
"You had, but you didn't..."
"Yeah... But may I make it up, babe? May I prove you that I can be different?"
"Josh..."
"I can explain you all! Please!"
"You already explained me, Josh..."
'I said bullshit, Lucien! Let me to do that one more time! Please, baby!"
"Stop it, Josh!" I raised my voice. "You will be father soon, so what are you talking about?!"
"Oh no! I don't love this woman! I love you, Lucien!"
"I said you stop it, Josh!"
""Why don't you want to listen to me?!"
"Because I already heard all, Josh! This woman said her own truth and you said yours! So please..."
"Because I already heard all, Josh! This woman said her own truth and you said yours! So please..."
"And still... Listen to me..."
"I don't think it will change something, Joshua..." I said feeling even more tired than before.
"What do you mean?" Joshua asked me gloomy.
"Words mean nothing, Lucien! They are just the words!" I exclaimed. "I've just realized that I don't know you! You've never told me about yourself and if you'd have been frank with me, now all would be different!"
"And who talks here?! Do I know you, Lucien?! Do I know something how do you lived before we've met?!"
I sighed. Joshua was right. I felt even more guilty.
"Yes... You are right... But I've never lied to you, Joshua..."
Joshua was silent for a while.
"The silence is also a lie..." Finally he said with a gloomy voice. "So what we are gonna to do?"
"I don't think it will change something, Joshua..." I said feeling even more tired than before.
"What do you mean?" Joshua asked me gloomy.
"Words mean nothing, Lucien! They are just the words!" I exclaimed. "I've just realized that I don't know you! You've never told me about yourself and if you'd have been frank with me, now all would be different!"
"And who talks here?! Do I know you, Lucien?! Do I know something how do you lived before we've met?!"
I sighed. Joshua was right. I felt even more guilty.
"Yes... You are right... But I've never lied to you, Joshua..."
Joshua was silent for a while.
"The silence is also a lie..." Finally he said with a gloomy voice. "So what we are gonna to do?"
"I think it would be the best if you and I lived separately for some time..." I said.
"What?! Why?!" Joshua exclaimed in astonishment.
"Because you must to decide what you want and need - to be with your family or to be with me!" I said angrily.
"I don't have family, I have only you!"
"Stop it, Josh! Your baby and that woman are your family!"
"Fuck, Lucien! If she's pregnant it doesn't mean she's my family!" Joshua exclaimed .
"If she's not your family then baby is your family! So you'll find an apartment for yourself, I'll give you money!"
"What?! Why?!" Joshua exclaimed in astonishment.
"Because you must to decide what you want and need - to be with your family or to be with me!" I said angrily.
"I don't have family, I have only you!"
"Stop it, Josh! Your baby and that woman are your family!"
"Fuck, Lucien! If she's pregnant it doesn't mean she's my family!" Joshua exclaimed .
"If she's not your family then baby is your family! So you'll find an apartment for yourself, I'll give you money!"
I felt how my eyes got wet. It was so hard to say that. It was so hard to fight with him... I hurt us both, but I didn't know what else to do. That moment I just couldn't to stay with Joshua under the one roof, I was afraid that everything would get even more complicated.
I rose to my feet.
"And what about you, Lucien?" Joshua asked me with a sad voice. "You decided for us both, but even didn't ask me what I want or what I think..." He came to me.
"Sorry..." I said with a trembling voice. "But don't you understand that it's just too hard... to be together?" I looked at his eyes. "I lost my trust in you..."
So... You want to dump me?" "Joshua swallowed hardly.
"No... I didn't say that..." I shook my head still trying to hold my tears. "Now I just want to go out... Anywhere... And never go back home."
I said a truth. I just wanted to disappear.
I rose to my feet.
"And what about you, Lucien?" Joshua asked me with a sad voice. "You decided for us both, but even didn't ask me what I want or what I think..." He came to me.
"Sorry..." I said with a trembling voice. "But don't you understand that it's just too hard... to be together?" I looked at his eyes. "I lost my trust in you..."
So... You want to dump me?" "Joshua swallowed hardly.
"No... I didn't say that..." I shook my head still trying to hold my tears. "Now I just want to go out... Anywhere... And never go back home."
I said a truth. I just wanted to disappear.