It started long time ago, but I didn't want to talk about it to anyone. Yes, I know it's wrong, but I just didn't want to make Carlo worried. They took me often and they always brought me to the surgery room, examined me... Just don't ask how I felt! I hated them, I hated their weird instruments and how they touched me... I know now you'll ask what I'm talking about. And it's a right question. If you remember Rupert and what happened to him...
It wasn't enough to them. They started to kidnap our friends.
And even people on the street if they were nearby our house.
Mostly they erased your memory, then you feel dizzy and even sick a bit after such trips to Sixam, but I remembered almost always their colorful faces and big dark eyes... Among them is a woman, she calls herself Pollination Technician and she's mother of Rex, Rupert's son... No no, any sex! They lay you on the narrow table and inseminate you performing minor surgical procedure. That's what they did to Rupert. This woman does it. She wanted to do the same with me and any time she took me she hoped that I'm not pregnant, but I always was pregnant, except the last time and then I was still lucky as after Tristan's Birth I couldn't have kids anymore. When Pollination Technician realized that she still can't inseminate me she got furious and then we argued... I returned home very angry and kicked trash bin as strong as I could that I even thought I broke my feet.
- Are you ok? What are you doing outside, sweetheart? - I heard Carlo's voice. - It's still very early, let's go to bed.
No, I wasn't ok. I even couldn't relax and sleep longer although I spent almost the whole night without sleep. And it's the worst thing what happened that morning... I yelled at Carlo like crazy. Just because he didn't accept my opinion. I said him what that alien woman is planning to do with me and others, but it seemed Carlo thought different than I.
- Come on, love, - his voice sounded too carefree and it annoyed me as well. - Why sixamians would like you and other people inseminate? What happened to Rupert it was many years ago, Rex is almost 19 years old. Don't you think it's illogical?
It was enough to me... I even didn't feel how I raised my voice.
- Come on, love, - his voice sounded too carefree and it annoyed me as well. - Why sixamians would like you and other people inseminate? What happened to Rupert it was many years ago, Rex is almost 19 years old. Don't you think it's illogical?
It was enough to me... I even didn't feel how I raised my voice.
I know I said too much... It was first time when we argued or when I yelled at the person I loved from a bottom of my heart. But I just wanted that Carlo would believe in me, I needed his support. I think it's even not needed to say that we both felt very bad after this quarrel. If even we can call it quarrel. Carlo didn't raise his voice.
- Ok... We'll talk when you'll calm down, - that was all he said.
- Ok... We'll talk when you'll calm down, - that was all he said.
And we didn't talk. I was too proud to talk to Carlo, he waited when I'll calm down... It was really bad, but I'm so stubborn! And I really needed to calm down.
Next day was Saturday and we had Costume Party at home. I prepared the best industrial/ebm/futurepop/synthpop mix for my DJ set and decided to make all smile widely wearing hot dog costume.
Next day was Saturday and we had Costume Party at home. I prepared the best industrial/ebm/futurepop/synthpop mix for my DJ set and decided to make all smile widely wearing hot dog costume.
No, I and Carlo didn't talk yet... But I always thought of him. I felt guilty as I knew I hurt him. Well, I and Carlo were good actors, so any of our guests didn't notice that something is wrong. Our friends and kids had fun.
However, this silence couldn't last forever. I needed Carlo, I needed our conversations, jokes, embraces, kisses, he's my everything! I even couldn't sleep only of this thought that we live like in two separate worlds. It seemed such nonsense to me... So one morning I broke the silence between us wrapping my arms around Carlo.
- Millions Sorry, my love... - I whispered kissing his bare shoulder. - Forgive me, please, I was wrong.
Carlo didn't reject me. He embraced me pulling me in his arms.
- I'm not angry on you, my sunshine... How I could? You seemed very tired that morning and I understand you.
- I didn't have to yell at you... I don't like to yell at anyone you know me.
- Of course, I know you! - Carlo smiled and planted a soft kiss on my lips. - Well, I confess you surprised me, sunshine, - Carlo smiled. - But sometimes it happens, anyone of us isn't perfect. No matter how you'll yell me I'll still love you.
- You are crazy... - I chuckled and clung against him. - I love you, Carlo.
- Millions Sorry, my love... - I whispered kissing his bare shoulder. - Forgive me, please, I was wrong.
Carlo didn't reject me. He embraced me pulling me in his arms.
- I'm not angry on you, my sunshine... How I could? You seemed very tired that morning and I understand you.
- I didn't have to yell at you... I don't like to yell at anyone you know me.
- Of course, I know you! - Carlo smiled and planted a soft kiss on my lips. - Well, I confess you surprised me, sunshine, - Carlo smiled. - But sometimes it happens, anyone of us isn't perfect. No matter how you'll yell me I'll still love you.
- You are crazy... - I chuckled and clung against him. - I love you, Carlo.
Carlo is the best. That's what I think of him and what I thought of him that morning. I could die for him. That morning I felt with all my soul and heart how strong I love this person and when I tried to imagine myself without him I felt weird. He's really my everything. But... Yes, that damned But again. Our reconciliation wasn't the end of the challenges we had to withstand. But I guess we all heard that any relationship is tested. As I and Carlo lived many years like in a tale we forgot this truth. Anyone shouldn't forget it.
So... One early morning seemed like many mornings in our life. Our kids went to school staying me and Carlo alone for several hours. Carlo did regular yoga exercises and worked out, I decided to finish my newest album "Cyber Doll"... And then... Only one blink of an eye and I'm burning!
So... One early morning seemed like many mornings in our life. Our kids went to school staying me and Carlo alone for several hours. Carlo did regular yoga exercises and worked out, I decided to finish my newest album "Cyber Doll"... And then... Only one blink of an eye and I'm burning!
All my life passed before my eyes... I understood that I'll die. But I didn't want to die and I couldn't die and stay Carlo and our kids alone. I'm not coward, but then I was scared to death.
- Help me! Carlo! - I screamed like crazy stomping and trying to stop the fire. Its flames burned my skin and it was so painful... I felt like in hell.
But Carlo... He just stomped looking around and did... nothing.
- Help me! Carlo! - I screamed like crazy stomping and trying to stop the fire. Its flames burned my skin and it was so painful... I felt like in hell.
But Carlo... He just stomped looking around and did... nothing.
Luckily, I found a fire extinguisher, so I saved my life. So Mr. Grim Reaper will have to wait for me a bit longer than he planned.
Honestly I was so angry on Carlo... and so disappointed in him. How he could let me die? He's not coward, he never panics! I really couldn't understand it.
- Please, Rosen... Please, my sunshine, don't blame on me... - he muttered. - I... I... - Carlo's voice faded and I realized that this time the fear overcame him.
- Shut up... - I spat out angrily.
- Shut up... - I spat out angrily.
Carlo stomped the sidewalk and I called for help praying in my mind that it would be just a bad dream.
But it wasn't a dream. I could say it was the worst day in our life we've ever had.
This fire changed many things in me bringing a deep sadness in my heart. I couldn't accept Carlo's fear anyhow, that fact he let me die just staring at me and doing nothing. I cried... It hurt me much more than a fire when its flames burned my skin.
This fire changed many things in me bringing a deep sadness in my heart. I couldn't accept Carlo's fear anyhow, that fact he let me die just staring at me and doing nothing. I cried... It hurt me much more than a fire when its flames burned my skin.
We became distant like never before. But I guess it was only me who became distant... Carlo was the same as always. He spent a lot of time with our kids, helped them with homework, but me... I wasn't there. I was somewhere far away.
It was really bad, very bad, but I couldn't help. I loved Carlo, but I wasn't sure if I trust him like before... I wasn't sure if I love him so strong like before. And you know what I did? I went on date with other man. Well, he's a producer and it was more like a business meeting, but this man was interesting in me and even didn't try to hide it.
- You look stunning, Rosen, - he complimented me.
- Thank you, you look great, too, - I smiled.
- You look stunning, Rosen, - he complimented me.
- Thank you, you look great, too, - I smiled.
Barrett Wesley was famous and rich, he knew how manipulate others and lure them in his bedroom, but his charms were too weak to affect me. He was boring, too boring for me. And then I asked myself what I'm doing here? Why I came here? To get some material support? To sign a new contract with his record company? Honestly, I didn't have any of these goals. I was independent underground DJ, I played for people who loved alternative dark dance music and I already had a contract with one record company, so I didn't need Barrett's services.
- Just let me know when you'll finish your album and we'll meet again, ok?
- Barrett... - I smiled.
- By the way, I'm composing something myself. Would you like to go to my place and listen to my work? - it seems Barrett even didn't want to listen to me. - I have a great Italian wine.
- Just let me know when you'll finish your album and we'll meet again, ok?
- Barrett... - I smiled.
- By the way, I'm composing something myself. Would you like to go to my place and listen to my work? - it seems Barrett even didn't want to listen to me. - I have a great Italian wine.
I laughed.
- Thanks for the invitation, but I'll go home. My husband is waiting for me.
- And what about the contract?
- I don't need it.
- How? Just think! You'll have the best conditions, Rosen!
- Thanks one more time, but I am sure someone needs your services much more than I.
When I left the restaurant I rushed home feeling how tears filled my eyes. I loved Carlo, I still loved him if even he wasn't perfect, if even he let me to die... What the hell I thought when I decided to go on date with Barrett? But suddenly I realized it was also a challenge, my challenge. I had to satisfy myself that Carlo is still the best and I did.
That evening Miranda invited us all to watch her Puppet Show she prepared for us. I sat next to Carlo. I so wanted to embrace him, but I didn't dare... I felt ashamed. But then Carlo turned to me and said:
- It's good to see you, my sunshine.
- It's good to see you, too, my moonshine, - I smiled softly.
- Thanks for the invitation, but I'll go home. My husband is waiting for me.
- And what about the contract?
- I don't need it.
- How? Just think! You'll have the best conditions, Rosen!
- Thanks one more time, but I am sure someone needs your services much more than I.
When I left the restaurant I rushed home feeling how tears filled my eyes. I loved Carlo, I still loved him if even he wasn't perfect, if even he let me to die... What the hell I thought when I decided to go on date with Barrett? But suddenly I realized it was also a challenge, my challenge. I had to satisfy myself that Carlo is still the best and I did.
That evening Miranda invited us all to watch her Puppet Show she prepared for us. I sat next to Carlo. I so wanted to embrace him, but I didn't dare... I felt ashamed. But then Carlo turned to me and said:
- It's good to see you, my sunshine.
- It's good to see you, too, my moonshine, - I smiled softly.
And it was a truth... I leaned over and wrapped my arms around Carlo swallowing the tears. He's still my everything. My world.
My soulmate. I was ready to die for this man like before. Because I love him and anyone can't take this love from me.
Even the challenges we had to withstand.
My soulmate. I was ready to die for this man like before. Because I love him and anyone can't take this love from me.
Even the challenges we had to withstand.