When I reached my home it was already 7:00. I fell into bed like dead, but unfortunately I slept only five or six hours and woke up with a horrible headache.
Moreover, the incredible images from my memory started to appear...
Moreover, the incredible images from my memory started to appear...
I didn't know how I have to accept it... Hangover meant nothing comparing to all this fun we had yesterday. Is this a reason why Dexter left me alone? Probably yes...
"Fuck..." I muttered taking my phone. I wanted to text Dexter, but suddenly I thought that I even don't know what to say him. I knew I hurt him, I felt it, but I didn't know what I did wrong and it made me feel very bad. Dexter was very special to me, he did so many good things for me and I just fucked everything up. No matter I didn't know how I did that, it was most important that I really knew that.
Finally I decided what I'd like to say and started to text Dexter.
I know I hurt you and you're mad at me although I don't know what I did. May we talk? Please...
Finally I decided what I'd like to say and started to text Dexter.
I know I hurt you and you're mad at me although I don't know what I did. May we talk? Please...
Soon I've received his answer:
Does it worth to talk? I think you know the truth, it's not necessary to talk about it.
"What the hell..." I muttered and started to text him back.
Please, Dexter... We are soul twins, we have to talk!
I waited for his answer even few minutes standing and staring at my phone, but Dexter didn't answer.
Does it worth to talk? I think you know the truth, it's not necessary to talk about it.
"What the hell..." I muttered and started to text him back.
Please, Dexter... We are soul twins, we have to talk!
I waited for his answer even few minutes standing and staring at my phone, but Dexter didn't answer.
I sighed throwing my phone on the bed and went to take a shower. I needed to freshen, hangover totally killed me, although I almost didn't pay my attention to headache. Dexter. He was most important to me and I wanted to find everything out and ask him to forgive me.
I thought about all what happened last night and somehow felt very ashamed. Even don't know why. Now I was just even more confused than before. I was totally lost in my feelings. I hate the chaos and I don't think I am one of those who can have two or more partners. And how it could happen?
When I dressed up and came to my bedroom I found Dexter's message.
OK. Let's meet in Flea market at the Old Market Square. I could come after one hour. Is this time right for you?
I looked at the time on my phone. It was almost 13:00. Old Market Square's in Newcrest center, so I needed almost about half hour to come there. I texted my answer to Dexter.
Is 14:00 OK? I just saw your message.
My phone rang again.
Yep. See ya!
When I dressed up and came to my bedroom I found Dexter's message.
OK. Let's meet in Flea market at the Old Market Square. I could come after one hour. Is this time right for you?
I looked at the time on my phone. It was almost 13:00. Old Market Square's in Newcrest center, so I needed almost about half hour to come there. I texted my answer to Dexter.
Is 14:00 OK? I just saw your message.
My phone rang again.
Yep. See ya!
I stood in the square waiting for Dexter and tried to remember what really happened yesterday.
All what I remembered that Joshua called me and after our conversation I and Dexter got drunk. I was much more drunk than Dexter. I wasn't sure but it seems we started to flirt and then I went with him somewhere. But where I couldn't remember. I remembered that there was twilight and the walls were dark if it wasn't just my imagination. And what then? Did we really... fondle, make out and... Isn't it just my imagination again? "Shit..." I bit my lip. Did I really want that? But if I did that it means I really wanted Dexter. And he wanted me. Alcohol made us weak and we lost self-control... I even didn't know how I have to feel and if it was right or good. I was just confused. But why Dexter was mad at me? What the hell I did wrong?
I looked at my phone again. It was already 14:00, but Dexter still wasn't here. He was late. As I didn't eat anything at home I decided to have my late breakfast or lunch until Dexter will arrive to the market, so I bought some oriental food.
I looked at my phone again. It was already 14:00, but Dexter still wasn't here. He was late. As I didn't eat anything at home I decided to have my late breakfast or lunch until Dexter will arrive to the market, so I bought some oriental food.
When I finished my breakfast I looked at my phone again. There was no message from Dexter . But I knew he will come. I rose to my feet and returned to the same place where I stood before. Suddenly I heard how my phone rang.
Sorry. My mother needed my help, I didn't have a possibility to warn you that I'll be late :/ I'll be after half hour. Hold on!
I sighed and texted back.
OK.
Sorry. My mother needed my help, I didn't have a possibility to warn you that I'll be late :/ I'll be after half hour. Hold on!
I sighed and texted back.
OK.
It felt as if the whole eternity passed when I am here, but I didn't want to get depressed again or something like this, so I decided to play basketball and distract my mind from the negative thoughts. Although it wasn't easy. Something hurt me inside and made me upset. I was just worried.
"Hi..." Dexter said looking at my eyes. He looked very serious and I felt even more his anger.
"Hi..." My voice was very silent and husky.
We stood and stared at each other for a while.
"Hi..." My voice was very silent and husky.
We stood and stared at each other for a while.
"So... Did you want to talk to me?" Dexter asked me.
"Yes..." I nodded and suddenly felt how my face is getting warm. "Did we..." It was so awkward to ask him about it.
Dexter knew what I mean. He nodded silently.
I swallowed hard and looked down.
"Is it why did you leave me alone yesterday?"
"No..."
"Then... Why, Dexter?" I looked at his green eyes.
"Why?!" Dexter smiled sarcastically. "You fucked me and called me Joshua!" He exclaimed not holding his anger.
I froze.
"Wha... What?! How..." I mumbled feeling totally shocked and ashamed at the same time.
"Oh, you don't remember!" He mocked at me angrily.
"I don't, because I was totally wasted..." I said.
"Yes..." I nodded and suddenly felt how my face is getting warm. "Did we..." It was so awkward to ask him about it.
Dexter knew what I mean. He nodded silently.
I swallowed hard and looked down.
"Is it why did you leave me alone yesterday?"
"No..."
"Then... Why, Dexter?" I looked at his green eyes.
"Why?!" Dexter smiled sarcastically. "You fucked me and called me Joshua!" He exclaimed not holding his anger.
I froze.
"Wha... What?! How..." I mumbled feeling totally shocked and ashamed at the same time.
"Oh, you don't remember!" He mocked at me angrily.
"I don't, because I was totally wasted..." I said.
"Yes, and why should you remember all what we said each other?! And then suddenly you forget my name and call me Joshua! But I'm not Joshua, I am Dexter! Sorry, Lucien..." He grinned not hiding the irony and how much he felt hurt and offended.
"Shit..." I mumbled.
"Shit..." I mumbled.
"Yes, it's really shit, Lucien!"
"Please... I didn't want to hurt you, I was just very drunk..." I looked at his eyes almost begging to forgive me. "I even can't remember what we said each other..." I felt how my eyes get wet.
Dexter gave a deep sigh.
"Please... I didn't want to hurt you, I was just very drunk..." I looked at his eyes almost begging to forgive me. "I even can't remember what we said each other..." I felt how my eyes get wet.
Dexter gave a deep sigh.
"OK... Never mind... Anyone of us can't change that... It happened what happened."
"But I want to know... What we said each other..."
Dexter shook his head.
"Forget it..."
"I don't want to forget it, Dexter! You are important to me!"
"And what about Joshua, Lucien?" Dexter asked.
"What do you mean?"
"He's still your boyfriend, right? But you forget about it and make out with me and even say that you love me! And I believed in all that! I feel just like an idiot!"
I stared at him shocked trying to find the right words, but I couldn't. Was it a truth? Suddenly I felt offended somehow.
"Look, Dexter! I don't know what I said to you, but if even it's a true you are very right! Joshua is still my boyfriend if even we aren't together and all this what happened was a mistake!"
"Yes... Mistake... Mhm..." Dexter nodded. His voice was full of the bitterness.
"But I want to know... What we said each other..."
Dexter shook his head.
"Forget it..."
"I don't want to forget it, Dexter! You are important to me!"
"And what about Joshua, Lucien?" Dexter asked.
"What do you mean?"
"He's still your boyfriend, right? But you forget about it and make out with me and even say that you love me! And I believed in all that! I feel just like an idiot!"
I stared at him shocked trying to find the right words, but I couldn't. Was it a truth? Suddenly I felt offended somehow.
"Look, Dexter! I don't know what I said to you, but if even it's a true you are very right! Joshua is still my boyfriend if even we aren't together and all this what happened was a mistake!"
"Yes... Mistake... Mhm..." Dexter nodded. His voice was full of the bitterness.
Then he turned away went out.
"Shit..." I mumbled. "Dexter! Wait!"
He didn't turn to me.
It seems I messed up one more time....
"Shit..." I mumbled. "Dexter! Wait!"
He didn't turn to me.
It seems I messed up one more time....