Suddenly Joshua's lips started to tremble, his eyes filled with tears.
"What has happened, baby?" I looked at him worried.
Joshua didn't answer me. He quickly turned away and went.
"Josh!" I followed him.
He went straight to the bathroom. "Oh, my Watcher..." I thought walking after him. "What's going here?!"
"Josh!" I called him again.
He stood turned his back to me and cried. I reached for his hand and gently turned him to myself.
"Why are you crying, baby?" I asked him. "Did someone hurt you? Tell me who did that and I promise I will find them..."
"I don't know..." He whispered.
"Can you remember even something?"
"What do you mean?"
"What's your name?"
"You called me Joshua... Joshua, right?"
"Yes, you are Joshua... And my name?"
"I don't know..." He shook his head. "Why did you come?" Joshua asked. His eyes were full of fear and anxiety.
"What has happened, baby?" I looked at him worried.
Joshua didn't answer me. He quickly turned away and went.
"Josh!" I followed him.
He went straight to the bathroom. "Oh, my Watcher..." I thought walking after him. "What's going here?!"
"Josh!" I called him again.
He stood turned his back to me and cried. I reached for his hand and gently turned him to myself.
"Why are you crying, baby?" I asked him. "Did someone hurt you? Tell me who did that and I promise I will find them..."
"I don't know..." He whispered.
"Can you remember even something?"
"What do you mean?"
"What's your name?"
"You called me Joshua... Joshua, right?"
"Yes, you are Joshua... And my name?"
"I don't know..." He shook his head. "Why did you come?" Joshua asked. His eyes were full of fear and anxiety.
"I live here, Joshua..." I said.
"And I?"
"You live here, too..." I nodded, reached for his cheek and caressed it.
At first, Joshua shivered as if he feared that I'll do something wrong to him, but then suddenly smiled and relaxed.
"Don't be afraid of me..." I said looking at his eyes. "You can trust me... Always..."
"Do you love me?" Suddenly Joshua asked me.
"Of course, I love you, baby!" I smiled a bit. He reminded me a little boy.
"And I?"
"You live here, too..." I nodded, reached for his cheek and caressed it.
At first, Joshua shivered as if he feared that I'll do something wrong to him, but then suddenly smiled and relaxed.
"Don't be afraid of me..." I said looking at his eyes. "You can trust me... Always..."
"Do you love me?" Suddenly Joshua asked me.
"Of course, I love you, baby!" I smiled a bit. He reminded me a little boy.
"And you are my boyfriend?"
"Yes... I am..." I nodded. "Do you remember what has happened to you when we stood out for short?"
"When?" Joshua got confused.
"At party, baby.."
"Party? What party?" He stared at me trying to understand what I am talking about and then started to cry again. "Why do you ask me?! I don't know you! I don't know anything!" He shouted like a helpless kid.
"OK OK... All is fine, Josh!" I tried to calm him down. "You'll remember everything someday..."
"I want to pee!" Suddenly Joshua turned me back and pushed out from the bathroom.
In other circumstances I would laugh, but Joshua's behaviour didn't seem me funny. That fear, anxiety in his eyes, unstable emotions, his childish and unpredictable behaviour... I loved that big child in Joshua, it was great and it always helped me to see the world brighter, better, more positive. But now... Now all was different. It scared me and made me worried. Honestly I didn't know what to think. There were too much questions and no one answer... I stood feeling how all my body shakes and the chaos penetrates my mind and makes me panic. I definitely needed to drink something and calm down. I even forgot my tiredness and that I didn't sleep last night.
I turned and went up the stairs on the roof.
"Yes... I am..." I nodded. "Do you remember what has happened to you when we stood out for short?"
"When?" Joshua got confused.
"At party, baby.."
"Party? What party?" He stared at me trying to understand what I am talking about and then started to cry again. "Why do you ask me?! I don't know you! I don't know anything!" He shouted like a helpless kid.
"OK OK... All is fine, Josh!" I tried to calm him down. "You'll remember everything someday..."
"I want to pee!" Suddenly Joshua turned me back and pushed out from the bathroom.
In other circumstances I would laugh, but Joshua's behaviour didn't seem me funny. That fear, anxiety in his eyes, unstable emotions, his childish and unpredictable behaviour... I loved that big child in Joshua, it was great and it always helped me to see the world brighter, better, more positive. But now... Now all was different. It scared me and made me worried. Honestly I didn't know what to think. There were too much questions and no one answer... I stood feeling how all my body shakes and the chaos penetrates my mind and makes me panic. I definitely needed to drink something and calm down. I even forgot my tiredness and that I didn't sleep last night.
I turned and went up the stairs on the roof.
My life is strange... And even not only strange. When you think all is fine at last, it decides to destroy everything and laughs at you enjoying your helplessness. My life is cruel heartless lunatic... Unfortunately, I couldn't punch it or express my anger somehow different, all what I could do I could only to accept all my disasters and losses. And drink.
The morning seemed me cold and unfriendly just like my life or even this world. I felt very lonely again. Even second glass of cocktail didn't help me to feel better. I drunk it to the bottom almost with one gulp.
The morning seemed me cold and unfriendly just like my life or even this world. I felt very lonely again. Even second glass of cocktail didn't help me to feel better. I drunk it to the bottom almost with one gulp.
"The morning is very beautiful..." Suddenly I heard Joshua's voice.
I glanced at him and stared into my glass again. I didn't answer Joshua, because I didn't know what to say and was too upset. The morning didn't seem me beautiful.
I glanced at him and stared into my glass again. I didn't answer Joshua, because I didn't know what to say and was too upset. The morning didn't seem me beautiful.
"Hey, handsome..." Joshua turned to me.
His wide smile and careless look annoyed me. I just wanted to yell "I'm not handsome! I'm your boyfriend and I'm fucking scared as I don't know what's going with you!" But, surely, I just stood and stared at my glass as if I wanted to find the answer what I have to do.
His wide smile and careless look annoyed me. I just wanted to yell "I'm not handsome! I'm your boyfriend and I'm fucking scared as I don't know what's going with you!" But, surely, I just stood and stared at my glass as if I wanted to find the answer what I have to do.
"Hey..." I felt his hand.
I looked at Joshua's eyes. They looked at me curiously and cheerfully. Joshua even didn't realize that something is wrong, that something has happened and someone made him forget all. It was so sad... And his eyes seemed even more beautiful.
When Joshua pulled me to his embrace I didn't resist. Maybe because I wanted to make myself to believe that it's just a dream and I will wake up soon. Or I just wanted to forget all and Joshua's embrace was the best place where I could to that. He kissed me with almost uncontrollable passion and pushed me away from the bar. We span round moaning in the kiss sometimes, our hearts were louder than the clock in Newcrest center.
I looked at Joshua's eyes. They looked at me curiously and cheerfully. Joshua even didn't realize that something is wrong, that something has happened and someone made him forget all. It was so sad... And his eyes seemed even more beautiful.
When Joshua pulled me to his embrace I didn't resist. Maybe because I wanted to make myself to believe that it's just a dream and I will wake up soon. Or I just wanted to forget all and Joshua's embrace was the best place where I could to that. He kissed me with almost uncontrollable passion and pushed me away from the bar. We span round moaning in the kiss sometimes, our hearts were louder than the clock in Newcrest center.
Joshua's hands slipped under my shirt making me slightly shiver in the excitement and growing lust. I pulled his shirt off and Joshua did the same with me. We clung to each other heavily breathing and kissing as if it was our last kiss.
When I felt how Joshua's hands started unfasten my belt as if suddenly I woke up. To let that happen seemed me not very good idea. Joshua didn't understand what is going and lost his memory, so if I will make love to him it will be as if I use him. I didn't want to use Joshua, so I pushed him away gently.
"Sorry, baby... We can't do that..." I shook my head.
"Why?" Joshua looked confused and upset.
"Because it's... It's wrong... You even can't remember me... So how can we...?"
"And why can't I do jigga-jigga with handsome stranger?" Joshua frowned. "And who the hell you are to decide for us both what is right and what is wrong?!" Suddenly he raised his voice.
"Jigga-jigga" almost made me smile. Only Joshua could be such ingenious, but everything seemed too serious.
"Because I'm not a stranger., Joshua!" I said strictly enough, grabbed my shirt and went.
I didn't doubt my words made Joshua angry, but it was just better for both of us. Sure, it didn't solve the problem, so I seriously had to think what to do.
"Sorry, baby... We can't do that..." I shook my head.
"Why?" Joshua looked confused and upset.
"Because it's... It's wrong... You even can't remember me... So how can we...?"
"And why can't I do jigga-jigga with handsome stranger?" Joshua frowned. "And who the hell you are to decide for us both what is right and what is wrong?!" Suddenly he raised his voice.
"Jigga-jigga" almost made me smile. Only Joshua could be such ingenious, but everything seemed too serious.
"Because I'm not a stranger., Joshua!" I said strictly enough, grabbed my shirt and went.
I didn't doubt my words made Joshua angry, but it was just better for both of us. Sure, it didn't solve the problem, so I seriously had to think what to do.